Jonathan Livingston Seagull

from Nihilism Is Real by Dee Madden

	/

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lyrics

For a year now,
I have been within your psalm

I finally summoned the nerve to make an overture

Rejecting some
unconscious reaction

another side effect
Of another test tube medication

And I did not know
I'd be summoning fallen angels
and knives from the cabinet of judas

I left the cups on the coffee table,
I‘m still cutting over that
And now, I’m crowding the ramp like some desperate addict
on the walk to the shop

I should have said goodbye while Jonathan Livingston
Was still around to drop
And I don't want to be a seagull!
You are one,
And that,
I will never see again.

I have recoiled
And burrowed way down into
The dangerous parts of my head
As bad as it was, I feel that I should thank you
For all of the things I never said

I can close my eyes and imagine us walking the park blocks,
Past the junkies, hand in hand

Speaking of anything but the shootings,
The war,
or the price of gas

I could not take the lie of Jonathan Livingston,
He was stepping on the drop
I never want to be a seagull
You are one,
And that,
I will never see again.

Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.

credits

from Nihilism Is Real, released June 23, 2019

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Dee Madden Portland, Oregon

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